I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
