i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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