we're chasing vodka with high fives
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
