just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
