whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
