some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
