I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
