I skipped work to stalk him.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Randomize
