If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
