new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i dont even know how to be here
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
