you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
