Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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