i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
