THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize