I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize