That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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