so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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