It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
