Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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