wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
