I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
