im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize