Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
