My brain says no but my pants say off.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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