If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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