Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
