i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Randomize
