i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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