wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
40s are totally the cure
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
