We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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