I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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