she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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