Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
