I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize