But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I want her autograph on my taint
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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