So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
