I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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