Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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