would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
North Korea, Best Korea!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
