Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
