I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
