someone get that fucking seahorse.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
