The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
