its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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