I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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