fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
