And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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