Will you blow on my dice?
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
