it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
