Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
The power of my boobs compel you
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
