i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You know, be my cock's hype man.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
