Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
