I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
