i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
