Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
