I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
