i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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