sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You left your underwear on the fireplace
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
