Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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