she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
