my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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