i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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