dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
