piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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