i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
