He asked to "fluff my boner.."
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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