do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
