And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize