"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
