She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Green mimosas i think yes
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize