Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
