I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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