I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
