I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Soap is not a condiment
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
