my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
